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The Spine to My Scrapbook Broke!

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 13:22:07 GMT

Have you recently started to scrapbook? Perhaps you're an experienced historical page designer that let themselves get carried away with embellishments while using a less than quality book.

It happens. And it's terribly devastating the first time it does. You're making page after page, each one looking better than the previous when suddenly the spine to your half finished scrapbook bursts apart, spilling memories, glitter, and paper to the floor. Through a broken heart and many tears, you gather the pages and stare hopelessly for some ingenious feat of engineering to stitch together your entire book back to the way it was.

Unfortunately, unless the staples came out without tearing holes in the pages and spine, trying to stitch or glue your original (probably paper) scrapbook back together is a lost cause. Even if you could, you wouldn't want to. Why? The quality job (although very lovingly attended to) isn't going to keep your work together for very long as time takes a good whack at it.

Solution? Cut your scrapbook apart. Carefully. (What?!) If not all of your staples came out, take them out very carefully so as not to rip any more pages and then slowly, precisely, begin to cut your pages apart. You're going separate each page, trimming it to a straight edge and keeping both sides of your page in mind as you do so. Once you've freed each individual page, go shopping.

Buy a quality scrapbook with a solid spine and cover that is capable of holding your opus together for many years to come. Make sure to buy a book which has the same size paper you're using. Simply slide in your pages that you've already made and then continue on.

If you decorated the front of your paper scrapbook that burst (I did) simply trim the edges of that and tape it to the front of your new hardback scrapbook. You should get one that has a permanent plastic cover so that it will protect your outer embellishments.

There you have it, and now you know!

My Baby Isn't Crawling!

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 13:19:45 GMT

Is your little baby approaching 4, 5, or even 6 months and hasn't begun to lift his head, push up with his hands, or attempt to crawl? It's normal for children to develop at their own pace. But for a child to be approaching a year without hitting these milestones is something to keep an eye on at the very least.

Look at the daily routine of your baby. Does he engage you in eye contact, make coos, babble, or laugh? He should be tracking your movements across the room, especially when you hold him upright in your lap. Be sure not to fall into a pattern of feeding, holding, and putting your baby to sleep. He needs to be propped in upright supported sitting positions. If he seems like he's trying to engage his legs, help him to do so and let him stand (supported) as long as he likes from as early as only a couple of months. This helps to build his leg muscles and when he tires, he'll quit.

Be sure to give your baby plenty of tummy time. Many babies fight being placed on their bellies. It isn't as comfortable, it's harder to see their environment, and they are less mobile. Your infant may scream and cry and it's easy for you to simply pick him up-but don't. Instead, use a baby mirror and place it in front of your baby's face. Engage your baby by laying down with him so that he can see you easily.

As time goes by, try to increase the amount of time he is on his belly daily, and within two weeks or so he should stop being so fussy about it. As he begins to adjust to it, he will first lift his head, try to roll (usually just from one specific side to another) and eventually push up and be able to roll in both directions.

Allow him to have as much tummy time during the day as he would like, when he gets over tired he'll certainly let you know.

As always, if you have any questions or feel something should be added, please email me or leave a comment!

Have a great day!

How to Have a Healthy Marriage

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:49:00 GMT

Being a working mother or even a stay at home working mother can often be exhausting. You may not feel very feminine, energetic, or as out going as you once were before the birth of your child/children. It can often be easy to fall into the trough of routine and forget the spice and vivaciousness you once had. Even easier can be the over looking of the transformations your husband or partner has endured while you yourself have become the brilliant juggling woman you are.

Here I am going to list for you some things you can do for yourself to revive and replenish the beauty within and without. Why am I listing things for you when this blog is about your significant other? It's because if you don't feel good about yourself and where you are in your life, you won't have enough energy or love to lavish on anyone else. So, first thing first: You.

Buy a new shampoo or body wash-spend more on it than you usually do.
Find time to change at least one aspect of your physical appearance. This can be as easy as changing the make-up you use, to finding the endurance to lose those stubborn five pounds.
Pick a power word. Personally, I have two. Calm and peace. When things get hectic or I feel anxious or stressed, I breathe in thinking the word calm and breathe out thinking peace. Long slow belly breaths-much like yoga breathing. You may not need two words, you may need more and perhaps you work best speaking it out loud or writing it. But let this word be meaningful and let yourself truly embrace the power it can have over your demeanor.
Wake up with purpose. I often hang desperately to those last few ten or twenty minutes in the morning when I know I may still be able to sleep if I don't hear a baby wake up. As hard as it is (and yes I know I'm guilty of hypocrisy here) get up before the hatchet falls and get to. You'll feel better moving of your own independence rather than that of your child's or works hold over you.
Embrace the inner goddess. Finding yourself doesn't have to be about luxurious spa treatments or lavish dining (although we all know it helps). Be the woman you want to be by acting the way you want to act. Are you normally sheepish but long to be confident? Muster up the courage and take the opportunities throughout your day to transform yourself. It's tough, but worth it.
Keep yourself relaxed no matter the work load (there's always tomorrow-pace yourself) and find time to lite your libido.

So, that all being said: How do you keep the romance alive and better understand the position your significant other is coming from?

We need to keep in mind that no matter what is happening in your life, there's a whole slew of things happening in your partner's life too. He (or she) will come home, probably expecting the kids to be crying, you to be exhausted, and dinner on the verge of burning with a pile of dirty laundry to boot. Here are some time tested tips:

Care enough to ask. Ask about their day, it doesn't matter what they decide to share with you-if it's all or nothing. But to be available to rant to is often invaluable.
Understand they have stresses too. He may not share these stresses (bills, deadlines, office politics) but try not to unload too many of yours onto the list he already has.
Be kind. We all love picking on our spouses/partners/significant other. But sometimes it can be too much. So try to go out of your way every now and then and make their favorite meal, give a massage (don't just offer), or maybe just handle the kids a little while longer so he too can have some alone time.
Be ready to laugh. Let yourself be in a good mood and it'll be contagious so they can be in one too! Setting the mood is key.
This one can arguably be #1.: Show off that renewed inner goddess! Sensual, intelligent, with an extra volume thanks to that new shampoo-who could resist? Make time to celebrate your relationship and have some fun!

Showing your spouse you love them is the fundamental necessity to understanding them. Without a sense of security and love, why would anyone want to open up and trust? You must create this atmosphere in order to have clear lines of communication-and heck, once you're communicating, all you need to do is listen. Granted, that can be easier said than done-but work at it and you'll get the hang in no time. As long as you're loving, listening, and taking time for you-understanding what your partner needs in order to make this machine called marriage work shouldn't require too much more than a tune up from time to time.

If you have anything you'd like to add, please feel free!

How to handle a whiny baby!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 10:35:09 GMT

As your little tot grows into his full potential (learning to use the word "no," and bargaining for new toys), you may find yourself gritting your teeth as you watch your whining baby turn into a whining toddler.

What to do? Toughen up, mom! This is not going to be easy, and it is going to take a worlds worth of patience, repetition, and endurance.

First off-do not let yourself succumb to the crocodile tears and persistent motor boat whimpering. Like any battle, prepare yourself.

Supplies:

Snacks
Recycled toys (toys your baby hasn't played with in several weeks)
Household items (such as pots or pans)
A quiet crib in a darkened room
A full meal

Snacks:

Your little one is prone to whining when he's hungry, tired, bored and restless. Therefore, by offering small snacks throughout the day you should be able to curb his appetite. Stick to his feeding schedule so that the bulk of his nutrition comes from his regularly planned meals. Remember, this is just a snack, not a "second breakfast." Give these small snacks right before your child begins to cry so as not encourage comfort eating. The snacks you give him should be quality, not quantity; the amount should be no more than what you can pile in your flat palm.

Recycled toys:

No child, at any age should be allowed access to every single toy all at once. Not only will this cause over stimulation, but it will cause every toy to become old hat very quickly. Be careful not to fall into the trap of buying a new toy every week. Instead, you should organize your toys in a bin or tub and rotate the toys available to play with on a weekly or biweekly basis. This will extend the life of your available credit on your visa as well as keep your child entertained for a longer period of time.

Household Items:

Does your child seem bored with his toys despite the fact that you're rotating them? No problem. Remain calm and resist the urge to buy new toys. Look around your home for things that make noise, shine, have many angles and can be lifted with relative ease. Pots, pans, long plastic cooking spoons, gladwear duck taped shut with beans inside, etc. All of these items make noise and give your child a new perspective on an old skill: banging things together. Yes, you may need to take an Ibuprofen, but at least he's not shrieking, right? Try not to turn to the T.V. for relief. Most children eventually become frustrated by the T.V. after ten to twenty minutes of entertainment. Imagine if you were watching T.V. in a language you only knew a few words of. Instead, try coloring books, finger paints, or even better (and cleaner), Brio blocks. All this being said: take a look at your child's daily routine-if it bores you, it's surely boring him. Make sure to take walks, go to the park, aquarium, etc. Get out and about-Try new things!

A quiet crib in a darkened room:

Your child needs a room that is cool but not cold that can be dimmed but not completely darkened. Most children hate to wake up to a completely dark room, so always leave a dull lamp or night light on so that he wakes up slowly instead of startled.

A full meal:

Giving your growing child enough nutrition is key to having a happy toddler. Sometimes an extra piece of bread or cheese at the designated lunch or dinner time can make the difference between sleeping through the night or not. If your child seems hungry, he is. Unless he is severely over weight, don't fret about the extra calories (you shouldn't be counting them anyway if you're offering the correct foods). Children go through routine periods of growth spurts and need the extra food to grow and still get through the day. A full tummy followed by a good two or three hours of play should lead comfortably into a nice nap in a cool room (without too much whining).

Things to keep an eye out for:

*Make sure that if your toddler is teething that he isn't simply whining because he's cut a tooth . Also, sometimes teeth that have already come in can cut the exposed gum on the opposite side (so don't be surprised to find a little blood and a fussy baby). You can treat this with frozen teething rings, or a towel for him to chew on. You can even pour water over a pacifier and freeze that for your little one-works great and not a choking hazard! Do not apply oragel! My husband is an excellent father and tries everything before we give it to our children. Oragel has a slight burn to it for several seconds before numbing an area. Applying this to a cut gum will only make your little one more angry!

*Keep all fingernails and toenails trimmed. If gone unattended they can become long enough to be accidentally bent back and broken off during walking or playing. Obviously, this can cause quite a whiny baby with apparently no reason for whining. Children's nails are not as thick as ours are, so make it a point to groom them weekly.

*Always check diapers, who wants to sit in that?

Never under estimate the possibility that whining is an indication of something wrong. Although it can be extremely frustrating, keep your cool. If all checks out and the only apparent reason is for attention, you should tend to your business within eye sight of your child and try to ignore his whining. Give him verbal reassurance occasionally, and when you take a break, be sure to give him a hug and let him know he's ok. Eventually, he'll realize you've become boring and he'll move on to toys and entertaining himself. Teaching your toddler to entertain himself is one of the greatest skills you both will need throughout the long journey of parenting. Just be tough and stick to it-you will survive!

My childs teeth are cutting exposed gum!

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:11:14 GMT

Has your toddler starting cutting his gums with his newly acquired baby teeth? Was there blood-did you freak out? It's ok-so did I.

Your toddler is experiencing lots of new things right now. Cruising, walking, babbling more, and cutting teeth. Those little pearls that you were so proud of are now the enemy-and there's not much you can do about it.

Your toddler is going to fall down-just like he's been doing, but this time he's going to fall and the teeth he currently has are going to cut into the exposed gum opposite them.

Try to stay calm. Here's what you need to do:

Stop the bleeding by applying a clean burp cloth or towel.
Calm baby down.
Wait until the bleeding has stopped before trying to access damage.
Wet another clean burp cloth and put in freezer, or cover a large piece of ice with a thin layer of towel or burp cloth. Allow your child to chew on the ice or cold towel. Don't worry, if it hurt him, he wouldn't chew on it. Make sure the piece of ice is big so that there's no danger of choking.

If the cut is massive, or there is a huge, deep flap of skin-if bone is showing: take your child to their dentist immediately.

If your child is bleeding profusely and it cannot be stopped, go to the emergency room!

Otherwise:

The cut is simple and the gum tissue will bruise, give your child some baby tylenol and spoil him some. Massage his legs and help him relax, he could also use a nap.

Watch for fever: it may be a sign of something more serious-if one occurs, call your doctor and be sure to explain the accident earlier. If this happens over the weekend, call the hospital nurse first and then if necessary take him to the emergency room.

Don't be surprised to find small amounts of blood on his mattress or some on his toys.

Also, if there are any large, hard objects in your child's play area (ie. coffee table, etc.) you may want to remove them; they're prone to accidents.

When all is said and done-it's ok if you feel the need to cry a little too. What mother doesn't hurt when her child does?

How to Cope with Custody

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:11:00 GMT

On average, 50% of marriages end in divorce- with that percentage growing every year. For those who remarry, their chances of a second divorce increase to 60% and rise with every subsequent marriage.

If you're reading this, then you probably have children involved in a custody dispute or have gone through one. It is a nasty, draining, emotionally taxing and faith building ordeal. I say faith building because without praying and belief in an ultimate plan, this time in your life will be even darker than you could possibly imagine.

You may be reading this looking for legal advice, all I can say is find a good lawyer and take their advice-even if they suggest moving and disappearing-if you have the monetary means to adhere to their suggestions, do so.

For those of you already stuck in a world of legality and judgment, here are some helpful hints to try to stay positive.

I know that at this time, your true cause: what's in the children's best interest, seems to be lost. For the most part-it is. Despite what you may hope, your lawyer does not have a personal interest in you-and neither will judge or jury.

Try, as hard as it may be, to accept that unless you have the money to fix just about any given problem-the court will settle in the middle-evidence aside. I know this is hard and you're probably reading this through tears-but it's the hard truth of the matter. Keep in mind I'm not saying to give up-the best advice I can give you is to document everything and always make duplicates! But lets be realistic, this probably isn't going to end the exact way you want it to. So here are some tips that you can do to try to sleep more easily and give your child a more stress free environment:

Do not talk about the other parent in a negative context in front of or to your child-no matter the situation.
Keep yourself calm and your demeanor pleasant in front of your child when in the presence of the other parent. Even though this may be a facade, do it well enough to give your child the sense that everything is all right and that she is not the source of tension.
Do give your child a picture or item that will remind them of you. Children often feel alone when not in their everyday environment. I recommend for younger children a teddy bear with a built in picture frame. Not only does it give them something to cuddle, but it saves them from having to carry a bulky picture frame.
Make peace with the decision the Judge has made. You still need to live your life, and living it in spite will only cause you to become bitter and old. Live with passion and joy-your child will see your attitude and mirror it.
Spend your time wisely when around your child. And when the other parent has custody, spend quality time with your significant other. Try not to wallow in despair and fear while your child is away from you. The stress will damage your health and the health of your relationship.
If you're unfortunate enough to have reason to fear abuse for your child; try not to start an inquisition every time you pick them up. Keep a close eye for physical, emotional, and mental signals that may indicate abuse, and ask open-ended questions. Ex: "How do you feel when you're with ---?" or "Have you ever been in a situation that you didn't like? Tell me about it." Stay calm and don't panic if you get a "yes." Alert authorities and follow the procedures they instruct. Always record and document everything. If your child is an infant, exam them when they get home.

Signs to look for:

Your child's demeanor is consistently different in a negative and remote way.
Your child refuses to discuss events that happened while out of your custody.
Your child avoids physical contact.
Your child wears out of season clothes such as long sleeved shirts in summer.
Eating disorders.

Another important thing to keep in mind: Eventually-this will all be over with.

The key to getting through it is behaving in a manner that represents responsibility and level-headed thinking.

In keeping with the courts decisions, understand that flexibility is a necessity. There will be special occasions that either you or the other custodial parent will request the child to attend. Allowing this give and take will help to ease this 18 year arrangement. In saying that, I'm not suggesting you give up a weekend-simply rearrange the weekends to where they are still equal, just not every other. This means you may have to go two weekends without in a row, but at the end of the month you'll have two straight weekends to yourself with your child.

You may or may not find that dealing with custody issues makes you a more spiritual individual. If it does, I highly recommend prayer. Ask friends and family to support you-it truly makes a difference. If you're not, surround yourself with loved ones who will listen and support you and you will survive!

Is it Okay to Use the Television as a Babysitter?

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:17:14 GMT

Dinner is about to burn, your child is about ready to throw a temper tantrum and the dog needs to be let out A.S.A.P. before it whizzes on the carpet: what do you do with Baby?

Maybe you have six arms and happen to go by "Wonder Woman," for the rest of us, pressing that simple "on" button to the T.V. remote may be the momentary lifesaver we need in order to make sure the house doesn't burn down!

So you do. You turn the T.V. on, you let it play-or you slap in a Baby Einstein. You sit junior up in front of it or strap your little sweet pea in a swinger and let her watch.

Should the Parenting Patrol come knocking on your door? I think not. Even if you use the television for a small breather-I doubt junior will lose any IQ points.

On the other hand: abusing the mesmerizing capabilities of the television can severely handicap your child-at any age!

Why? What's the big deal? Our parents raised us with T.V.! The big deal is that by allowing your child to be raised by a machine, she's not getting the interaction and stimulus she needs in order to expand verbal as well as motor skills, along with cause/effect relationship.

By sitting her down in front of the television daily, for hours-her ability to think creatively and develop social skills are eliminated by the prolonged sitting and staring. Her socio-emotional schema are reduced to what she can pick up from the characters on T.V.

Children need to interact, play, create and experience new things. With the television babysitting, you're allowing public propaganda to raise your child. Forgive me for saying so-but, Ronald McDonald, Jerry Springer, and CSI should not be the main influences on your child's developing mind.

I completely understand the need for an hour or so to relax and have an adult moment. But maybe a picnic, walk around the block, or finger paints would allow your child to expend enough energy to need a snack and nap when finished. This would make room for a nice break or nap for you too.

Another way to avoid misuse of the T.V.: plan your day before it happens.

This doesn't mean your nights should focus on housecleaning and your days around activities for the children. Nor does that mean that you have to load your day down with both! Simply make a schedule and stick to it. Perhaps you didn't write down to do a load of laundry on Monday-so then don't try to squeeze it in. It'll all still be there later that week when you do decide you have time to get it done.

More organization will result in less stress. Fear not, you needn't strive to be Martha Stewart either...just relax and go with the flow. The important thing to understand is that your children will remember the things you did with them, not how many dishes you washed or perfect meals you made. They will however, remember if you were there for them or if the T.V. was.

For older children, try to make sure television doesn't become a false need. "Mom, I need to watch American Idol!" I can't imagine any child needing to watch television! Instead, make watching T.V. casual family time where together you either watch a movie after dinner, or play a board game, or simply share dessert on the porch talking. As long as T.V. is not the only item on the menu, and family is first, then your priorities are well in order.

How to Give your Baby Medicine

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 10:55:04 GMT

Giving your baby medicine doesn't have to be an uphill battle. If you're dealing with your first baby and feel uncomfortable forcing medicine or battling with your little one, try to keep in mind that your baby needs that medicine whether they know it or not.

For infants and most toddler medicine, the pharmacists will usually give their medicine in liquid form or to be given by suppository. If they don't include a syringe you should ask for one (obviously the kind without the needle-they'll know what you mean).

At home, prepare the syringe with the appropriate amount of medicine. For infants, try to give them their medication after a feeding so that they've had a chance to be accustomed to swallowing recently.

Cradle your child's head in the crook of your elbow, reaching around and pinching their cheeks together to form a fish face. With your other hand, place the syringe behind the tongue, being careful to squeeze out only 1/3 to a half of the medicine at a time. After inserting a bit of the liquid, be sure to keep the fish face and give her a chance to swallow. The fish face will help keep her from frowning out the medicine. If she gurgles on the medicine, don't panic, she'll swallow before she chokes.

If your baby is struggling, give her a break before finishing the syringe. Once she's taken all the medication, be sure to giver her verbal praise, and perhaps a little juice or water to wash down any residue.

For children with suppositories: I would recommend doing this before a feeding since your little one will be laying on their tummy, squirming and fussing (now would be a bad time to have to clean spit up). If your child is small enough and you're strong enough to hold them steady, this may be done while they lay on their back.

After removing the diaper and spreading the little bum, apply a small amount of vaseline to the rectum. With clean hands and a small amount of vaseline on your finger as well, gently insert suppository completely, continuing to apply pressure to the rectum area in case your child tries to push it out.

Be prepared, such stimulus can often cause a bowel movement and you may have to reapply.

Be sure to wipe clean any excess, as well as sanitize hands after.

Try to plan giving the suppository before the feeding so that after you've administered the medicine, you can let your child soothe herself with her next meal. Don't panic if while she's eating she "gets rid" of the suppository. As long as it's not exactly as it was when it went in-assuming you held it in for a moment-she should have absorbed all she needs. The mysterious "they" take that sort of thing into account.

Should you Force Feed your Baby?

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 12:40:16 GMT

Should you force feed your baby? That depends on a great number of things. How old is your child and how much does she weigh? If your baby is only two months old and already pushing twenty pounds-then the answer would be no.

If your baby happened to be born premature, then you may end up taking her home being trained by the nurses on how to encourage her to eat. Sometimes simply talking soothingly and pushing the bottle against her pallet won't work.

You may find your baby doesn't want to wake for her feeding. She may seem like a rag doll and unable to wake even when rubbing wet wipes along her back and stimulating her. If this happens for one meal and her breathing is strong and normal, don't panic. In the process of trying to wake her, be careful not to get too rough, you want to wake her but not injure her. If this is the case, and she doesn't wake up, just keep her warm and let her rest. For the next feeding she should be ready and eager.

If she does not wake again despite all attempts (using a wet wipe, rubbing her back, patting her leg, talking to her in louder tones) you should call your doctor. If it happens on a weekend, call the hospital for any additional medical advice and they may have you bring her in.

What should you do if your baby is awake for feedings but isn't eating? Attempt to get as many burps out of her as you can, sometimes while crying baby can swallow air. After burping, try as gently as you can to coax her to eat. If this doesn't work, you should try to swaddle her, holding her close and keeping her mouth stimulated for the feeding. If your baby is well past the swaddling age, you should try to hold her in a position that keeps her head comfortably against the soft spot on the front of your arm and shoulder, keeping her arms snuggly against you with your hand gently on her forehead. It should look much like a football hold. Make sure you are not forceful with baby, but solid. She may just be too squirmy to focus, keep eye contact with her and speak in soothing tones.

If you succeed in getting your baby to take even an ounce before she clamps her gums together and turns her head, consider yourself successful. Overall, baby knows what she needs. If she's skipping meals but has not changed her normal behavior-she may just not be going through a growth spurt at the moment and will not need quite as much food.

If you notice she is losing weight, her soft spot is sinking in, her lips are dry, she's extremely lethargic, the skin underneath her eye is drooping away from the eye-call the hospital, your baby may be dehydrated.

Otherwise, as long as she is eating a little something, do not try to force feed every meal. If she's skipping quite a bit, I would only recommend trying once, maybe twice a day just to keep her from dehydrating.

Always talk to your doctor about unusual behavior or if you're concerned about the welfare of your child.

Try to keep yourself calm and don't worry too much, her body will tell her when she's hungry or if she needs more. When trying to make her eat, be sure to burp regularly and frequently. Forgetting to do so can result in projectile vomiting. If this does happen, quickly suction out baby's mouth and nose. If she's crying-she's ok. Clean her up and do not attempt to feed again until her next regular meal.

How to Find Romance with Children

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 20:29:36 GMT

If you have children, you probably fall into one of these two categories:

Scenario #1 For the working parent: You woke up this morning around 5:45 a.m. to throw some reasonably clean clothes into the dryer, prepared food for your little ones, run through a shower and dust with make-up, pausing to say "Good Morning," (with or without morning breath kiss) to your loved one. You jump into your clothes, pack the kids, head to daycare and go to work. Your thousand dollar coffee tastes pretty decent and ruins any attempt you made earlier at brushing your teeth. You work hard all day (avoiding the loud office guy and humoring your boss who's talking about her vacation for the tenth time). After shoveling lunch in, you work some more-leave to pick up the kids who are now dirty and newly refreshed from a late afternoon nap (oh boy). You finally get home and start cleaning/cooking hoping to have enough time to poop in peace after dinner. You wash kids, throw in a load of laundry, avoid bills and crash into bed, counting the days until the weekend.

Scenario #2 For the stay at home working parent: You woke up this morning to either the sound of your partner in the bathroom or the cry of a wee one. Your business suit consists of pj's waiting to be spit up on. You're lucky to get a shower in the morning, and if you do, there's no use putting make up on because by lunch you'll have apple sauce on your face and in your hair. You clean as many dishes as possible and tidy here and there between the feedings, diapers changes, and "hold me now" sessions. If you're good about things, you remember to feed yourself as well as your child. You look forward to when your partner comes home and you can once again speak in tones that don't suggest someone has given you a frontal lobotomy. You prepare dinner with such a speed that most would think you've prepared ahead of time-but you know it's simply all "Heat and Serve." You put your little ones down for bed and after discovering several toys by stepping on them, clean up a little more. You take a shower, talk to your partner and pass out.

If reading that makes you as tired as it does me and you're wondering more where your nap is rather than the romance-just take a breather for a second and regroup!

Romance is something that we can all have, even while raising little ones. Romance starts and ends with you. Your attitude, your mood, your disposition towards your partner help to lead to a long lasting romance. How do you get into a good mood, etc?

Take a Breather! The more easy going and relaxed you are, the less stress and tension there will be between you and your partner when you do have time to share.
Let go! Don't harbor a grudge! No matter the reason, that small spiteful little voice needs to be quieted-permanently! Letting go of all the little mistakes you two have made along the way will make the road ahead that much smoother.
Gear yourself up! Think about how you want to spend your time with your partner, what you want to convey and why. Why is this person so special to you? How can you make sure they know what they mean to you?
Take the time to plan something special. Details:

Planning something special does not require you to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts, baby sitters, fancy dinners, etc. For us, being romantic meant making a date night where we planned a nice meal with wine and a movie after the kids were already down for bed. Yes, this will require you to stay awake past 9 p.m. but it's worth it!

If you have the cash and the time to get a sitter and plan something out of the house, wonderful! Don't do dinner and a movie! Why? You two have done it a thousand times before! Take a night picnic to the beach, go indoor rock climbing, go to an improv show, see a concert, take a class together, etc. Do something you've both wanted to do for awhile or something neither of you have ever done before. Make it exciting and really dedicate yourself to being in the moment. This type of abandonment is truly what helps create the atmosphere and will make for a memorable night.

No matter what you do, you'll probably be having some food along the way. A couple of tips:

Get dressed up!
Try a new restaurant!
Have a drink-don't get drunk!
Always have dessert!
Flirt!

For those of us who decide a sitter is too much, having a date night is not your only option. It might be as simple as having a drink while relaxing outside on patio chairs; maybe it's giving each other massages and taking the time to talk. If you both enjoy art you could purchase some cheap supplies and paint, etc. ...Or, *and perhaps this is a little obvious,* you could spend some "quality" time together, (don't be afraid to get kinky ladies-variety is the spice of life). To keep it PG, I will not elaborate on all the possibilities of that last statement-but please, use your imagination.

So...you've done your date night and you've had a great time...what now? Hold hands, sneak kisses, pinch butts, tickle, laugh together, keep your romance alive through your everyday. Not only is it important to keep your relationship alive, but it's vital your children have a good example to base what their future relationship should be on.

Be creative, adventurous, honest, and loving to your partner-everything else will fall into place!

What to Expect during and after a C-Section

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 15:41:26 GMT

Getting ready to have a baby? Read everything there is to know about pregnancy but can't find a thing on what happens to your body after the baby comes?

I had the same trouble finding anything related to what happens after the baby arrives. So here it is, in all it's awesome glory-the gory, painful details that if you're expecting you may-or may not-want to know about beforehand. I can only relate what happened in my experience, but even though every pregnancy is different, there are tons of similarities (baby aside).

Towards the end of my pregnancy my blood pressure was creeping up, swelling in my legs had gone past my knees, and I was beginning to release more and more protein in my urine. For those of you with similar symptoms, be sure to note any spots in your vision, headaches, contractions and anything else your doctor may advise. In any case, prepare yourself to be hospitalized for close observation and bedrest (hah!). I laugh because while you are supposedly "resting," every four hours a nurse will come into your room, take your temperature, blood pressure, ask about contractions, see how much you've been drinking and possibly administer drugs.

Now perhaps you may be able to sleep through all of that (did I mention they do that 24/7?) but if (and this isn't a stretch) you're like me and you're already getting up and waddling to the bathroom to squeeze out a milliliter of urine into a tiny brown jar for analysis-then bed"rest" is exactly what you won't be getting.

For me, my c-section was quite a surprise, when after eating an early breakfast my doctor walks in to tell me I need an emergency c-section due to preeclampsia-but what follows is standard procedure:

They wheel you into a new prep room-sometimes bringing all your belongings with you in case your room is needed while you're out.
Stick you with an obscene amount of IVs
Change your barely-there hospital gown
Shave your privates-oh yes, they still do this, lovely, no?
Ram-I'm sorry..Place a foley catheter into your urethra
Take all your vitals once more
Ask is there is anyone you'd like in the room with you (Try to stay focused, I know your birthing plan is probably the last thing on your mind and you're probably shaking with nerves/meds, but just hang in there!)

So after all of this bonding between you and every nurse in L&D (Labor and Delivery) your doctor should come in and give you a big pat on the back "here we go, any questions" type of speech. If you can think of any question that truly bears weight at this point, you're incredible! I believe I stuttered some and asked about my bladder-though I don't recall why.

At this point you're wheeled into the OR (operating room) and helped onto the table. Depending on whether your c-section is scheduled or not will depend on what type of medication you're given. If you go with the epidural, you'll curl over your baby while they inject your spine with a needle-it does hurt but will fade shortly thereafter.

They lay you down on your back, place a giant blue screen in front of your face and lay a warm blanket across your chest. The rest of your body is then stripped naked-the blanket helps to create the illusionary solace that some of you is covered. Once you're laying down, they will strap your arms down so that if you saw an areal view, you'd look like you were on a cross. Your IVs will be adjusted as needed and your anesthesiologist will be sitting there to monitor them.

After much pushing and pulling you will be able to feel extreme pressure-which should NOT be painful. If it is, speak up!

Soon you'll hear a tiny cry and a nurse will momentarily give you a peek at your little one. Your anesthesiologist will give you a little something (unless you have other arrangements) and you will wake up in the recovery room.

Depending on your bleeding the following may or may not happen to you... Once you've woken in the recovery room, for me I was shaking and cold so I had a warm air blanket on. The nurse there monitored my IVs, for women whose bleeding isn't slowing or hasn't stopped, the nurse will begin to massage the fundus. Sounds relaxing? It's the most painful thing you could imagine. I did my best not to grip the nurses arm too forcefully but the instinct to protect yourself is quite strong. If your bleeding does not subside, you can expect this to happen several more times. For me, it resulted in another trip to the OR, a D&C (which is where the uterus is scraped clean) and a six pint blood transfusion with a four pint platelet transfusion.

If you find your pregnancy ends in preeclampsia you may be given a magnesium drip. It makes you feel exhausted and as if you have the flu. -Just an FYI.

If your pregnancy ends this way, expect a slow recovery. Walking is extremely difficult, as well as urination/bowel movements.

I know that for the woman who foresees a c-section in her future, the scariest thing at the time is having staples put in. Trust me-this is the easiest...in fact, you almost want to keep them in because it starts to feel more secure.

Another thing to prepare yourself for-gas. Massive amounts of trapped gas which can be quite painful. You may even find yourself praying to God for it to just pass right along. Your husband/partner may think it's funny...if you don't, I highly suggest you lay down any penalties for laughing before hand.

Once you're home and moving about better, you'll find you start to pee unheard amounts of urine at a time-a complete 180 from where you were just a week or two ago!

You should also expect to wake up in cold sweats about a week or two after as a result of the sudden drop of estrogen in your body.

I know it sounds like a horror story-keep in mind not every pregnancy is the same. But do prepare yourself and believe me that it is more than worth the pain-in fact after awhile you'll be amazed at how despite what you went through you may even consider doing it again! Listen to your body and your doctor as you recover. If you feel like you shouldn't do something-don't! It isn't worth it. No 'buts,' just let someone else handle it.

As always, please feel free to post your thoughts, experiences, or questions, we'd love to hear from you! Good luck with your pregnancy and I wish you and yours all the best!!

How to get Crusty poop off of Baby!

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 20:25:49 GMT

If you have a child, then you know that sometimes the little surprises they leave in their diaper can seem to have permanently attached to their little rears. Scrubbing with wet wipes doesn't do the trick and in the end leaves their bottom red, irritated, and looking worse off than before.

In order to remove what I like to deem, "The Crusty," follow these simple steps:

Prepare baby on changing table as usual, opening the diaper and with a regular wet wipe, removing any pieces of her little surprise that you can without having to rub or scratch at the skin.
Taking a new wet wipe, apply a small amount of liquid hand sanitizer (oh gosh, I just heard the gasps of shocked breathing-bear with me here!) and gently wipe at The Crusty. Crusty should start to come up quite easily, be sure not to rub too hard while making sure to get it all off her rear.
Do NOT rub wet wipe with alcohol into vagina, tip of penis, or anus! The wet wipe with alcohol is only to be used on the skin with the Crusty.
Once The Crusty has been removed, take an additional, regular wet wipe and gently wipe the area that had the alcohol applied to ensure skin doesn't dry out and any remnants are removed.
When preparing new diaper, make sure to use ample amount of baby powder as well as applying an anointment (I highly recommend Aveeno Baby, Soothing Relief Diaper Rash Cream ) to any red or irritated areas.

When using this recommendation, keep in mind that if your little one has a diaper rash that is irritated to the point of bleeding, you should NOT use this method, as well as you should immediately call your pediatrician! Diaper rashes that are as far gone as to have bleeding need to be treated by a doctor so as to prevent infection and encourage healing.

If your baby has The Crusty on a regular basis you should also contact your doctor as it could be a sign of dietary/digestive issues. The occasional Crusty is going to happen, but do keep an eye on your child's movements for anything consistently abnormal.

How to get your baby to sleep all night!

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 23:01:57 GMT

Hello there,

I see you with your dark circles, your frazzled hair, and that twitching eye. It can only mean one thing: your baby doesn't sleep through the night yet. Have no fear! No time for reading "The Baby Whisperer" or "How to get baby to sleep"? Neither did I! So here it is in a nutshell for your reading (and hopefully, soon, sleeping) pleasure.

I'm probably about to lose some of you here, but if you're determined (or just desperate enough) you'll stick with me. Get your baby on a schedule. I'm sure you're thinking: "Kari, it's a baby, I can't possibly get him on a schedule, he does what he wants, when he wants it, I can't change it." To this I respond: It can, has, and will continue to be done. Your little junior is quite unique-true. But every child can benefit from a schedule; and if you're diligent, with a little time he'll be sleeping through the night.

When my twins arrived home, they were 17 days fresh from the NICU after having been born six weeks premature. They needed to eat 30-40ml on the hour every two hours, around the clock. Each child had thirty minutes to eat that tiny little 30 ml bottle-and each child took the whole thirty to do so. Needless to say-I was exhausted-a walking zombie. Why am I sharing this part? Because if your child is underweight, premature, or perhaps has some physical impairment/digestive or reflux issue-he may not be ready for a schedule. You should follow the advice your pediatrician gives you on how much and how often your child should be eating. For us, we got our schedule go ahead from our pedi around eight weeks old.

It may seem obvious, but the first meal we discarded was the 6am feeding. Making sure they ate a healthy amount at 4 am, we proceeded to skip the 6 o'clock feeding, followed promptly by a healthy 8 am feeding. Your child may or may not sleep through that first night, but I assure you if they slept through, they will be taking keen notice in the coming nights. Be patient. If your child doesn't seem able to be calmed back to sleep, you may need to space his feeding in thirty minute increments over one to two weeks for each meal. Gauge his progress closely. I highly recommend a food diary for your little one; so many feedings can often become highly confusing.

As you continue to slowly remove one feeding after another during the night, be sure to start to increase your day feedings in quantity. For our twins, they were given a full bottle at 4 pm, a 2 oz. snack at 6:30 pm, and another full bottle at 8pm. Since they were 10 weeks old, aside from the occasional "I need a paci" freak out, they've slept from 8:45pm to 8am regularly.

All in all, you should keep to your schedule. Your child and their body will adapt and begin to desire food about 5-10 minutes before time. They should panic over hunger pains less and generally be more calm. It may take some time, but in the end you and your baby will be much happier.

Do keep in mind to get your own rest as well! If you're not well rested and feel just as taken care of as your little one does, then you simply won't have the energy to keep up with him! Eat well (I'm a hypocrite, I know) and try to exercise (if you can find the time). Trust yourself and your baby, he'll let you know what's going on. I know it may sound easier than it is, but it comes in time, just let it.

PlayGroups-Should you bother?

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 14:45:37 GMT

PlayGroups. Why bother? Yes, you have to get yourself and your children ready, load them up, make small talk and play nice with other moms, but lets look beyond that.

The importance of playgroups is not necessarily for the socialization of your child so much as it is for you as a mother (or lets not forget fathers too). The dynamic within a PlayGroup is always a sticky and usually awkward one, especially with the first meeting because of the overwhelming sense of anomi-no not the japanese cartoon. It's the sense of normlessness. There are no schemas to follow, you are all but reinventing yourself and who you want to be percieved as to a group of new people who will from then on, define you as the person you present. There are as of yet roles to be played and responsibilities to be dealt (who will host the next playgroup, who will email everyone, who will bring snacks, who will organize activities for the children, ect).

But as the journey becomes easier (and you learn to accept that one mom who always seem to refer to herself in the third person once removed) a change takes place. Even if your little one isn't quite old enough to understand what exactly is happening, just by watching your interaction with other adults he's picking up on nonverbal ques and socially acceptable behavior.

What's the benefit for you? You have the opportunity to blow off a little steam. Trade war stories, helpful tips, tricks of the trade and most importantly, make some new friends. Lets just be honest, your days of partying and hanging out with your college buddies till the wee hours of the night are over. You eat dinner, tuck the kids in, do a load of laundry and go to bed at nine o'clock wondering exactly at what point your soul departed your body. But lets do keep in mind that not every playgroup is the same. A playgroup takes on a personality of it's own after the first several meetings, as does any club or group. Be picky about the playgroup you join, simlpy do it in a fashion that doesn't give off the "witch" vibe.

If you're dissatisfied with your playgroup, your child will sense the tension and be unable to play as freely. This is for the both of you, so make sure it works for the both of you. You can find thousands of playgroups in any area of the country by a simple google search-don't be afraid to try out several before you commit to one or if you have time, two. Some social guidelines to follow when attending a playgroup:

Watch your child, just because there are more eyes doesn't mean yours get to take a break!
Be courteous and if not regularly, occasionally offer to either host or plan the activity.
Take your turn in shelling out for snacks and drinks (not only for the children but for the adults as well).
If your playgroup is for little ones, bring your diaper bag and supplies with you, it's not anyone else's responsibility to have your supplies!
If you're the person who is talking to another adult while looking at your baby, referring to yourself as "Mommy had a busy day yesterday and she just couldn't call you back." Please-save the baby talk for the baby and look the other adult in the eye. ... And we know your name, it isn't mommy to us. (Sorry, pet peeve.)
Most importantly-enjoy yourself and your time away from the washing machine, watching your child laugh and play, and basking in the good company of other parents!!

Babies and baby gates

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:57:38 GMT

The everyday hassles of raising children can be taxing on even a team of "experts," but you don't get a team, do you? You have yourself, and if you're lucky, a family and a partner. You can read every book there is on what you should expect when expecting or how to raise the new little bundle in your life. I can all but garauntee that things will not go as smoothly as the books may lead you to imagine. Being a new mother of six month old twins, there have been things that no amount of reading can prepare you for. Feedings on the hour every two hours-round the clock, projectile vomit, explosive diahrea, and; the cursed six o'clock witching hour which for some reason causes every living being under the age of five years to cry uncontrollably for no apparent reason. Of course, these things fade as your child grows and as you become more aware of what each cry actually signals. The first true smile, the tiny squeeky giggles, the first time a stranger holds them and they look to you for reassurance; all things that confirm you are a mother and you never knew you could love so completely, these are the times you remember.

And then, one day they begin to roll-fast, and crawl-quickly, and you wonder exactly how you're to keep them in their designated blanket area and still clean dishes or fold laundry. This is where we were several weeks ago before we found our baby enclosure. And I must say, it has been wonderful. The usual "it's too quiet" instinct seems to have subsided since we purchased our gate. I know that when they're in it, they are unable to reach anything haphazardly laying on the ground (the dust bunnies my daughter has a knack for collecting between her fingers). I personally recommend purchasing the puzzle foam alphabet as a foundation to put your baby enclosure around. Spit up is made easier to clean with the foam, and there is nothing for them to pinch or pull out of the carpet, as well as no carpet burn. A safe way to keep your eye on them and know exactly where they are and what they're doing. We went with the honeycomb enclosure versus the bar enclosure so that I was reassured they couldn't reach their arms out and grab anything or pull anything down.

So there it is, my tid bit gate promo. Seriously though, it's nice to have but I would say a must for moms of multiples.