Kari's Keen Knowledge

PlayGroups. Why bother? Yes, you have to get yourself and your children ready, load them up, make small talk and play nice with other moms, but lets look beyond that.

The importance of playgroups is not necessarily for the socialization of your child so much as it is for you as a mother (or lets not forget fathers too). The dynamic within a PlayGroup is always a sticky and usually awkward one, especially with the first meeting because of the overwhelming sense of anomi-no not the japanese cartoon. It's the sense of normlessness. There are no schemas to follow, you are all but reinventing yourself and who you want to be percieved as to a group of new people who will from then on, define you as the person you present. There are as of yet roles to be played and responsibilities to be dealt (who will host the next playgroup, who will email everyone, who will bring snacks, who will organize activities for the children, ect).

But as the journey becomes easier (and you learn to accept that one mom who always seem to refer to herself in the third person once removed) a change takes place. Even if your little one isn't quite old enough to understand what exactly is happening, just by watching your interaction with other adults he's picking up on nonverbal ques and socially acceptable behavior.

What's the benefit for you? You have the opportunity to blow off a little steam. Trade war stories, helpful tips, tricks of the trade and most importantly, make some new friends. Lets just be honest, your days of partying and hanging out with your college buddies till the wee hours of the night are over. You eat dinner, tuck the kids in, do a load of laundry and go to bed at nine o'clock wondering exactly at what point your soul departed your body. But lets do keep in mind that not every playgroup is the same. A playgroup takes on a personality of it's own after the first several meetings, as does any club or group. Be picky about the playgroup you join, simlpy do it in a fashion that doesn't give off the "witch" vibe.

If you're dissatisfied with your playgroup, your child will sense the tension and be unable to play as freely. This is for the both of you, so make sure it works for the both of you. You can find thousands of playgroups in any area of the country by a simple google search-don't be afraid to try out several before you commit to one or if you have time, two. Some social guidelines to follow when attending a playgroup:

• Watch your child, just because there are more eyes doesn't mean yours get to take a break!
• Be courteous and if not regularly, occasionally offer to either host or plan the activity.
• Take your turn in shelling out for snacks and drinks (not only for the children but for the adults as well).
• If your playgroup is for little ones, bring your diaper bag and supplies with you, it's not anyone else's responsibility to have your supplies!
• If you're the person who is talking to another adult while looking at your baby, referring to yourself as "Mommy had a busy day yesterday and she just couldn't call you back." Please-save the baby talk for the baby and look the other adult in the eye. ... And we know your name, it isn't mommy to us. (Sorry, pet peeve.)
• Most importantly-enjoy yourself and your time away from the washing machine, watching your child laugh and play, and basking in the good company of other parents!!