Kari's Keen Knowledge

Is your little baby approaching 4, 5, or even 6 months and hasn't begun to lift his head, push up with his hands, or attempt to crawl? It's normal for children to develop at their own pace. But for a child to be approaching a year without hitting these milestones is something to keep an eye on at the very least.

Look at the daily routine of your baby. Does he engage you in eye contact, make coos, babble, or laugh? He should be tracking your movements across the room, especially when you hold him upright in your lap. Be sure not to fall into a pattern of feeding, holding, and putting your baby to sleep. He needs to be propped in upright supported sitting positions. If he seems like he's trying to engage his legs, help him to do so and let him stand (supported) as long as he likes from as early as only a couple of months. This helps to build his leg muscles and when he tires, he'll quit.

Be sure to give your baby plenty of tummy time. Many babies fight being placed on their bellies. It isn't as comfortable, it's harder to see their environment, and they are less mobile. Your infant may scream and cry and it's easy for you to simply pick him up-but don't. Instead, use a baby mirror and place it in front of your baby's face. Engage your baby by laying down with him so that he can see you easily.

As time goes by, try to increase the amount of time he is on his belly daily, and within two weeks or so he should stop being so fussy about it. As he begins to adjust to it, he will first lift his head, try to roll (usually just from one specific side to another) and eventually push up and be able to roll in both directions.

Allow him to have as much tummy time during the day as he would like, when he gets over tired he'll certainly let you know.

As always, if you have any questions or feel something should be added, please email me or leave a comment!

Have a great day!

As your little tot grows into his full potential (learning to use the word "no," and bargaining for new toys), you may find yourself gritting your teeth as you watch your whining baby turn into a whining toddler.

What to do? Toughen up, mom! This is not going to be easy, and it is going to take a worlds worth of patience, repetition, and endurance.

First off-do not let yourself succumb to the crocodile tears and persistent motor boat whimpering. Like any battle, prepare yourself.

Supplies:

• Snacks
• Recycled toys (toys your baby hasn't played with in several weeks)
• Household items (such as pots or pans)
• A quiet crib in a darkened room
• A full meal
  

Snacks:

Your little one is prone to whining when he's hungry, tired, bored and restless. Therefore, by offering small snacks throughout the day you should be able to curb his appetite. Stick to his feeding schedule so that the bulk of his nutrition comes from his regularly planned meals. Remember, this is just a snack, not a "second breakfast." Give these small snacks right before your child begins to cry so as not encourage comfort eating. The snacks you give him should be quality, not quantity; the amount should be no more than what you can pile in your flat palm.

Recycled toys:

No child, at any age should be allowed access to every single toy all at once. Not only will this cause over stimulation, but it will cause every toy to become old hat very quickly. Be careful not to fall into the trap of buying a new toy every week. Instead, you should organize your toys in a bin or tub and rotate the toys available to play with on a weekly or biweekly basis. This will extend the life of your available credit on your visa as well as keep your child entertained for a longer period of time.

Household Items:

Does your child seem bored with his toys despite the fact that you're rotating them? No problem. Remain calm and resist the urge to buy new toys. Look around your home for things that make noise, shine, have many angles and can be lifted with relative ease. Pots, pans, long plastic cooking spoons, gladwear duck taped shut with beans inside, etc. All of these items make noise and give your child a new perspective on an old skill: banging things together. Yes, you may need to take an Ibuprofen, but at least he's not shrieking, right? Try not to turn to the T.V. for relief. Most children eventually become frustrated by the T.V. after ten to twenty minutes of entertainment. Imagine if you were watching T.V. in a language you only knew a few words of. Instead, try coloring books, finger paints, or even better (and cleaner), Brio blocks.  All this being said:  take a look at your child's daily routine-if it bores you, it's surely boring him.  Make sure to take walks, go to the park, aquarium, etc.  Get out and about-Try new things!

A quiet crib in a darkened room:

Your child needs a room that is cool but not cold that can be dimmed but not completely darkened. Most children hate to wake up to a completely dark room, so always leave a dull lamp or night light on so that he wakes up slowly instead of startled.

A full meal:

Giving your growing child enough nutrition is key to having a happy toddler. Sometimes an extra piece of bread or cheese at the designated lunch or dinner time can make the difference between sleeping through the night or not. If your child seems hungry, he is. Unless he is severely over weight, don't fret about the extra calories (you shouldn't be counting them anyway if you're offering the correct foods). Children go through routine periods of growth spurts and need the extra food to grow and still get through the day. A full tummy followed by a good two or three hours of play should lead comfortably into a nice nap in a cool room (without too much whining).

Things to keep an eye out for:

*Make sure that if your toddler is teething that he isn't simply whining because he's cut a tooth . Also, sometimes teeth that have already come in can cut the exposed gum on the opposite side (so don't be surprised to find a little blood and a fussy baby). You can treat this with frozen teething rings, or a towel for him to chew on. You can even pour water over a pacifier and freeze that for your little one-works great and not a choking hazard! Do not apply oragel! My husband is an excellent father and tries everything before we give it to our children. Oragel has a slight burn to it for several seconds before numbing an area. Applying this to a cut gum will only make your little one more angry!

*Keep all fingernails and toenails trimmed. If gone unattended they can become long enough to be accidentally bent back and broken off during walking or playing. Obviously, this can cause quite a whiny baby with apparently no reason for whining. Children's nails are not as thick as ours are, so make it a point to groom them weekly.

*Always check diapers, who wants to sit in that?

Never under estimate the possibility that whining is an indication of something wrong. Although it can be extremely frustrating, keep your cool. If all checks out and the only apparent reason is for attention, you should tend to your business within eye sight of your child and try to ignore his whining. Give him verbal reassurance occasionally, and when you take a break, be sure to give him a hug and let him know he's ok. Eventually, he'll realize you've become boring and he'll move on to toys and entertaining himself. Teaching your toddler to entertain himself is one of the greatest skills you both will need throughout the long journey of parenting. Just be tough and stick to it-you will survive!

On average, 50% of marriages end in divorce- with that percentage growing every year. For those who remarry, their chances of a second divorce increase to 60% and rise with every subsequent marriage.

If you're reading this, then you probably have children involved in a custody dispute or have gone through one. It is a nasty, draining, emotionally taxing and faith building ordeal. I say faith building because without praying and belief in an ultimate plan, this time in your life will be even darker than you could possibly imagine.

You may be reading this looking for legal advice, all I can say is find a good lawyer and take their advice-even if they suggest moving and disappearing-if you have the monetary means to adhere to their suggestions, do so.

For those of you already stuck in a world of legality and judgment, here are some helpful hints to try to stay positive.

I know that at this time, your true cause: what's in the children's best interest, seems to be lost. For the most part-it is. Despite what you may hope, your lawyer does not have a personal interest in you-and neither will judge or jury.

Try, as hard as it may be, to accept that unless you have the money to fix just about any given problem-the court will settle in the middle-evidence aside. I know this is hard and you're probably reading this through tears-but it's the hard truth of the matter. Keep in mind I'm not saying to give up-the best advice I can give you is to document everything and always make duplicates! But lets be realistic, this probably isn't going to end the exact way you want it to. So here are some tips that you can do to try to sleep more easily and give your child a more stress free environment:

1. Do not talk about the other parent in a negative context in front of or to your child-no matter the situation.
   
2. Keep yourself calm and your demeanor pleasant in front of your child when in the presence of the other parent. Even though this may be a facade, do it well enough to give your child the sense that everything is all right and that she is not the source of tension.
3. Do give your child a picture or item that will remind them of you. Children often feel alone when not in their everyday environment. I recommend for younger children a teddy bear with a built in picture frame. Not only does it give them something to cuddle, but it saves them from having to carry a bulky picture frame.
4. Make peace with the decision the Judge has made. You still need to live your life, and living it in spite will only cause you to become bitter and old. Live with passion and joy-your child will see your attitude and mirror it.
5. Spend your time wisely when around your child. And when the other parent has custody, spend quality time with your significant other. Try not to wallow in despair and fear while your child is away from you. The stress will damage your health and the health of your relationship.
   
6. If you're unfortunate enough to have reason to fear abuse for your child; try not to start an inquisition every time you pick them up. Keep a close eye for physical, emotional, and mental signals that may indicate abuse, and ask open-ended questions. Ex: "How do you feel when you're with ---?" or "Have you ever been in a situation that you didn't like? Tell me about it." Stay calm and don't panic if you get a "yes." Alert authorities and follow the procedures they instruct. Always record and document everything. If your child is an infant, exam them when they get home.

• Your child's demeanor is consistently different in a negative and remote way.
  
• Your child refuses to discuss events that happened while out of your custody.
• Your child avoids physical contact.
  
• Your child wears out of season clothes such as long sleeved shirts in summer.
• Eating disorders.

Another important thing to keep in mind: Eventually-this will all be over with.

The key to getting through it is behaving in a manner that represents responsibility and level-headed thinking.

In keeping with the courts decisions, understand that flexibility is a necessity. There will be special occasions that either you or the other custodial parent will request the child to attend. Allowing this give and take will help to ease this 18 year arrangement. In saying that, I'm not suggesting you give up a weekend-simply rearrange the weekends to where they are still equal, just not every other. This means you may have to go two weekends without in a row, but at the end of the month you'll have two straight weekends to yourself with your child.

You may or may not find that dealing with custody issues makes you a more spiritual individual. If it does, I highly recommend prayer. Ask friends and family to support you-it truly makes a difference. If you're not, surround yourself with loved ones who will listen and support you and you will survive!